Distraction
by Srivastra
Summary: Life can be hectic and even Superheroes need something to pass the time between one crisis and the next.
1. Lollipop

He wasn't staring. It was called 'observing' and that was something he was an expert at. Clint couldn't help it if Agent Coulson was giving a butt-ass boring debriefing to Dr. Foster and her assistant that was winding its way at a snail crawl into the second hour. He also couldn't help it if Darcy err… _Ms. Lewis _was bored -it was hard to maintain professionalism with a woman who called him Agent Studmuffin, used every opportunity she could to grope his biceps, and 'accidentally' smacked his ass. Twice.

For the most part security around the hammer site had him busy enough but whenever the opportunity to go into town arose Clint would jump on it, whether getting groceries, keeping an eye about the town or accompanying Phil to Dr. Foster's lab, he was game for anything that kept him moving about. It had been the second time that he'd accompanied Coulson when Darcy approached him. The good Doctor was engaged in conversation with Phil and things seemed like they were getting tense seeing as Jane's hand gestures kept getting sharper and more exaggerated while Coulson's tone had become clipped in a way that meant he was trying to curb his annoyance. Clint had hung back in the kitchen area, leaning against the island counter well out of the firing zone for the argument. There was some bumping and thumping and Darcy came through the doorway bopping into the kitchen, arms loaded with grocery totes that appeared to be made from old t-shirts and a huge pair of headphones around her neck that looked like a 70's flashback blaring Notorious B.I.G.

"Hey." She said with a smile, heaving the grocery bags onto the counter next to him.

"Hello Ms. Lewis." He stood up straight and gave a polite nod to her, eyes lingering on the low-cut tank top she wore that was doing a valiant job of keeping her publicly decent.

"Agent Dude, it's totally not fair that you know all your super spy stuff about me and I can't even know your name." He grinned a little at that before schooling his features back to neutrality.

"Sorry ma'am. Safety first." He'd barely finished speaking before Darcy's hand flew up, her palm a few inches away from his face in a 'stop' gesture.

"Ugh. I'm like, twenty years away from being a 'ma'am'. Just Darcy will be sufficient Agent…" Her hand lowered and she cast a critical eye over him, lingering on his arms. "Studmuffin." He wasn't certain but Clint was pretty sure his eyebrows had risen all the way to his hairline in surprise. She just laughed and took her headphones off tossing them and the CD player on to the open counter space, singing along to the chorus.

_I love it when you call me big pop-pa_

_Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true player_

Ever since then… Well Clint was a grown ass man and he knew full well when a woman was flirting with him _especially_ when they weren't subtle. And Darcy was anything but.

Over the weeks following she'd made plenty of not-so-subtle come-ons , the butt smacks being least subtle, and Clint was finding it difficult to remind himself _why_ it was a bad idea to take Darcy up on her…hints.

But the game of control and desire was nothing new to him, there had been so many before her and the danger, the _thrill_, had been more intense. She was, however, one of the few women he'd been around for such a long period of time and it was getting _damn_ difficult to keep himself in check. To not let his mind wander and images of her hair tossing wildly, the arch of her pale neck, those breasts straining against whatever top she wore, how slim her wrists and ankles were… argh. Not again.

Of course the present situation didn't help at all. Dr. Foster and Dar- _Ms. Lewis_ were sitting across the table from him while Coulson stood before a whiteboard explaining what they could and could not talk about, Jane listened with rapt attention often interrupting Phil -which pissed him off- to ask a question or clarify a point. Darcy however may as well have been asleep for all the good her attention span was during Coulson's debrief. Clint had been following along, eyes trailing around the room as was typical until Darcy rummaged through her messenger bag and pulled out a blue tootsie-pop. She unwrapped it with a delicacy and care he didn't see her use too much and popped the sucker in her mouth as she smoothed the wrapper out on the tabletop and examined it for a few seconds. Her expression brightened and when Coulson turned to the to write on the whiteboard again she nudged Jane, holding the wrapper up for her to look at. Dr. Foster looked at Darcy, then frowned as her gaze fell across the wrapper and she flicked her hand in a dismissive gesture before turning back to what Coulson was writing. Darcy slumped down in her seat sullenly for a moment, before her gaze lifted and settled on Clint. The way her eyes lit up and the twitching at the corners of her mouth as she fought a losing battle with her grin made something clench inside of Clint's stomach. She held up the wrapper for him to see but his brow furrowed and he shook his head slightly, indicating that he didn't understand the significance of it. Making an exaggerated eye-roll she pointed to a child on the wrapper dressed as a Native American pointing a bow and arrow at a star. Hands lifting Clint just shrugged, not understanding the significance of it and knowing that Darcy had no idea about him being a sniper or -more accurately- an archer.

She rolled her eyes again and shook her head disapprovingly at him, folding up the wrapper and sticking it back in her bag. Placing an elbow on the table Darcy leaned her head against it and focused back on Coulson.

Once again Clint's eyes began to wander, taking in details he'd seen in the room a hundred times before and noticing new things alongside them. Until Darcy started… playing… with her lollipop. She pulled the sucker from her mouth slowly, eye staying focused on Coulson's presentation she flicked her tongue across the ridge of her candy before running it across her bottom lip and then over the top one, leaving a hint of blue shimmering like lip gloss. She parted her lips slowly, wrapping them around the lollipop as she pushed it into her mouth, cheeks puckering as she sucked on it. Darcy pulled the sucker out with a 'pop' noise, saliva followed it, sticky and blue, dripping down her chin and landing atop her cleavage which seemed to be battling against her blouse for freedom. Swiping a blue hued tongue over her chin she glanced down and scooped the sticky saliva off of her breast then popped the finger into her mouth, sucking it off. Clint berated himself mentally, Christ this girl was barely past being jail bait and here he was ogling her as if she were a stripper. Though, he had to admit, she was working that lollipop as if it were her job to do so; tongue wrapping around it and flicking over the end of the candy before pushing it into her mouth and making her cheek bulge out. _Easy Clint._ He had to tell himself, unable to look away as she thrust it against her cheek in slow, deliberate strokes. _You let anything happen with a civilian on the job an you're likely gonna end up getting shipped back to Iraq. _Darcy's eye's snapped over to his and she pulled the lollipop along her tongue until the tip, flicked it, the slid it back, and back, and _back_ until only the end of the lollipop stick was pinched between her fingers. He gulped hard trying to think of baseball, listing off the last places he'd been stationed in, just something, _anything_ to keep his mind off of how far she could get something in her- _NO._ He was a grown ass man not some horny high school kid. He had will power and control and she was sliding the lollipop out, rubbing it across her lips before placing it between her teeth, staring right at him with a wink and a smile when

_CRUNCH_

She bit what was left of the lollipop in half and started chewing on it. Clint swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly way too dry and his pants suddenly way too tight.

" -Agent?" Clint's head snapped over to Coulson who was looking at him expectantly. Feeling flustered but back in control he stumbled through his bit in the debriefing, taking great care not to look at Darcy. She was much too… _distracting._


	2. Panini

With the S.H.I.E.L.D airship undergoing repairs and the former Stark Tower in the throes of construction it left only one real option for safety and science. S.H.I.E.L.D's ground headquarters in New York. Or more accurately the lab they'd tunneled for him that had apparently been 'Hulk-proofed'. The idea made Bruce chuckle and it made the Other Guy stir restlessly, eager to prove how wrong they were. There were several other labs in the building as well, none as deep underground, nor as reinforced with concrete and metal but it was nice having other intellectuals to chat with over lunch. Well, on the rare occasions he'd stop working long enough to take a lunch. And today was not one of those days. Dr. Foster -whom he had met through Thor- and had become his usual lunch buddy- was off to an astrophysics conference in Noordwijk, Netherlands and her assistant was driving her to the airport at the moment. So, since he had no desire to each lunch alone, Bruce just kept on working, immersing himself in the equations.

It was around three in the afternoon when there came a knock on the lab door. Puzzled as to who would have not only the clearance, but the desire to come down into his science lair Bruce just shouted 'Come in' and continued working on his logarithms.

The door slid open and the smell of hot food preceded the delivery person, though not by much.

"What's up Doc?" Bruce couldn't help the smile as Dr. Foster's assistant strode up to his work table. She was a smart girl, to the point where she could keep up with and contribute to the lunchtime debate for the most part. But with people like himself and Jane Foster it was never too long before they 'kicked in the high gear nerdage' as Darcy put it, and she would either mentally or physically drift off. And truth be told he hadn't expected to see her with Jane half the world away. "I figured you'd be down here in the salt mines slaving away, so I brought panini's and sweet potato fries from Joster's. Safe to assume you haven't eaten yet?" He eyed the green and orange motley bag for a moment before his stomach answered for him. Loudly. Darcy giggled and taking that as an answer, sat at the empty chair across from him.

"Thank you." Bruce began, closing the screen he'd been working on and clearing some space for them to eat. "It was kind of you to think of me." She handed him a sandwich and snorted.

"Oh please. You guys think of like, everything _except _yourselves. Jane is the exact same way. She'd of gone to the Netherlands with a toothbrush and a poncho if I didn't pack for her." That thought made Bruce chortle.

"Well, Dr. Foster is very dedicated to her work." He paused biting into the sandwich and savoring it. "I once went to a black tie symposium in jeans and a t-shirt." Darcy's eyebrow quirked and she swallowed her sandwich before speaking.

"They let you in?" She asked popping a fry into her mouth.

"I had a tie." He startled slightly at her laugh, loud and unabashed it was so strangely refreshing to hear and in that moment she went from being just a lab assistant to being Darcy Lewis.

"That's bad-ass Dr. B." It was ridiculous how pleased her compliment made him feel. Ridiculous and dangerous. It was one thing letting people like Tony Stark and Steve Rogers get close enough that he would consider them friends… Even Jane had Thor looking out for her… but Darcy? "So I gotta admit, my seemingly altruistic action is actually a bribe." Bruce paused, about to chomp a sweet potato fry he lowered it and closed his mouth, a feeling of dread rising slowly to form a hard little knot in his stomach where a third of his meatball panini was resting.

"Oh?" Was all he could think to say and Darcy suddenly flung herself forward onto the lab table, hands held up and clasped together in a begging gesture she leveled a doey-eyed and very beseeching look upon him and Bruce couldn't help feeling halfway ready to give in to whatever demands she had.

"Jane took all her work crap with her an didn't leave anything to do! She said I should use some of the time off I've acquired but I'm saving it to go to Bonnaroo! And if any of the suits find me just slacking off around here they'll _make _me use my vacay-time so please, please, _please! _Let me temp assist for you!" Well… that had not been what he'd expected.

"Darcy," It was _really _hard to turn down those puppy eyes shimmering before him but he liked silence when he worked and Darcy was, by nature, a very chatty person. He just didn't see himself getting all too much work done with her around to distract him. "I don't know if that's such a good idea…" Her bottom lip trembled and she dropped her head, hitting the desk with an alarmingly loud _THUMP._

"OH PLEASE!" She begged, her voice high and quivery and sounding near tears. "I'll make you coffee or tea or triple chocolate fudge cake! I'll pass notes, re-organize your CD's, darn your socks, whatever! I don't care! I just _have _to have something to do!" Her shoulders shook and Bruce, at a loss of what to do, relented.

"I… well while Dr. Foster's gone I suppose it'll be alright if-" Her head whipped up, no trace of tears or any sadness at all really, just a great big smile that lit up her whole face. And made Bruce think he'd been too soon and too easy about giving in.

"Yay! Thank you Dr. B! We're gonna have such an awesome time together you'll be _begging_ Jane to borrow me." And then she leaned across the table and wiped some sauce from the corner of his mouth with her middle finger and licked it off. "Mm-mm! Joster's makes some bomb-ass meatball marinara's, don'tcha think?" Bruce had gone rigid at the unbidden contact. What was that gesture supposed to mean, so small yet somehow so huge? He nodded numbly, and Darcy, not seeming to notice his stiffened posture began chatting about various restaurants around town. The tightening in his chest led Bruce to believe that this may not end well for either of them in the long run… but… listening to her excited chatter, more animated and passionate than he'd ever seen her at the science luncheons he had with Dr. Foster, Bruce couldn't bring himself to send her away. As long as he didn't let anything happen this could at least be fun and a nice little change of pace for him.

So taking in a stabilizing breath and letting himself relax, Bruce weighed in his two-cents about them going out for lunch tomorrow and trying an Ethiopian restaurant that had opened a couple blocks down.

_Fun. You remember that, don't you?_

* * *

Well there was a reason I only had Darcy listed for the characters. Unless otherwise stated these are all unrelated. Just enjoy.


	3. Buffet

It was hard to move and it was hard to breathe and there was fur plastered on her back and her hangover was rolling out a kettle drum solo inside of her head. And it must have been one _Hell_ of a night because she was sore and sticky from head to toe. The room smelled like fire and sweat and oil and bad decisions.

None of these sensations were new to her.

Darcy kept her eyes screwed shut, trying to reclaim all of those broken, disjointed images; half a dozen hot mouths licking and biting, twice as many hands rubbing and groping, skin on skin, bodies sandwiched and writhing, a dozen voices moaning and grunting… oh it had been all kinds of sexy magic! Her brain may not have remembered but her body sure as Hell did.

Darcy finally cracked one crusty eye open and it took a moment for her to focus on the hazy appendage resting a few inches from her nose. Without glasses her eyesight could be described as 'shit' at best and the hairy, lumpy flesh colored thing resting not too far from her face wasn't the easiest to identify. It wasn't until her eyes drifted up that Darcy realized the mystery limb was an ankle. Curious as to who her bed-mate was Darcy attempted to sit up for a better look but didn't get to far seeing as whoever was spooning behind her had an arm across her ribcage cupping her bare breast.

_Okay._ She thought, closing her eyes and taking in a stabilizing breath. _Had a threesome at a wedding. I should send this story to a porno mag to publish._ And as much as she wanted to start writing her letter to 'Playgirl' her first order of business was finding out _who _she had ended up banging and, saying a quick prayer in her mind. Darcy opened her eyes and shifted enough to see who she was spooning with.

Dr. Banner would not have been her first guess. Trying not to move excessively she craned her head around to see who else she's shacked up with and her mouth opened slightly as an exhale of pure surprise escaped her. It was the number one boy next door scout Steve -Captain fucking America- Rogers using her calves as a pillow while his feet rested against the headboard not three inches from her face. _Oh… wow. I gotta give myself some high fives later on. _Steve shifted, nuzzling against her leg and drawing Darcy's attention to a flash of red splayed over his shoulder. Turning and twisting as slowly and carefully as she could Darcy managed to sit up just a tiny bit more to see that Natasha had curled up at the foot of the bed with Steve and was using Clint's bicep as a cuddle buddy. Not that Darcy could blame her. She'd been wanting to drool on his arms since she first saw them.

_So… this is new. _Not only was this her first full-fledged orgy but it had been with freakin _Superheroes_! And it was the biggest bullshit ever that she couldn't remember anymore than flashes of skin, the taste of honeyed alcohol, and a vague recollection of a wedding. _Who got married…? _Chances were good that whoever had tied the knot wouldn't have been involved in a marital bed gang-bang-a-rama… then again… in a moment of panic her fingers shot up and relief washed over her at the lack of a wedding band. _Okay so 'not it'. _Rubbing her fingers gently over Dr. Banner's hands -which still held her breasts- Darcy exhaled gently. No ring there. Trying to sit up for a better view to make sure she wasn't a home-wrecker Darcy accidentally rubbed herself against Dr. Banner making him grunt before his grip tightened and -with an ease and strength she hadn't been prepared for- he tugged her back against his chest. _Okay so it wasn't fur, just a hairy chest. _She'd never been with a guy who had chest hair but Darcy had to admit it was a lot softer than she would've guessed.

Another grunt from the Doctor as he stretched out fully against her, something hard prodding Darcy's thigh making her go still. She didn't need a PHD in anatomy to know what was poking her.

Moving cautiously so as not to arouse him further Darcy loosened his grip and managed to sit up.

A small movement caught her attention and Darcy craned her head over Dr. Banner's shoulder to see a bare leg wedged under the his hip. Following the hairy appendage over the edge of the bed to a mess of blankets on the floor Darcy's eyes widened in surprise at Tony Stark sprawled out on the ground with Pepper Potts using him as a bed. _Wow. This just keeps getting better and better. _Squinting she tried to see any glint of metal on either Tony or Peppers fingers' but she may as well have been trying to see through concrete for all the good it did her.

Maybe she should just write her own erotic novel… this was enough creative writing fodder for a trilogy at _least_.

From the opening that led to the bedrooms sitting area she head a soft scuffing noise and looked over in time to see Loki pass by adjusting the collar of his shirt. His usually slicked back hair was mussed and wild and she could see the tell-tale signs of a hickey blooming just under his jaw line. _Oh dear sweet everything… __**him too?!**_ Loki paused at the edge of the doorway upon seeing her awake. A wicked little grin made a flash of heat rise from the pit of her stomach and a shiver run down her spine. Lifting a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence Loki gave her a saucy wink before exiting the room, despite her silent protesting gesture.

_Maybe I should escape too… _She felt bad doing a nail and bail, especially since six other people were involved -_well seven if I count Loki. _Eight if she included herself… _Oh God I gotta get out of here. _Maybe they would all just wake up one by one and sneak off and never speak of it again?

Yeah. Sure. and maybe then she'd fart rainbow clouds of glitter.

But she certainly wasn't above salvaging her dignity and getting the Hell out of there.

Ever so delicately Darcy began working on Dr. Banner's fingers, trying too loosen them up so she'd have an easier time extracting her legs from under Steve's head. It was a difficult task however as the good Doctor had a grip like a vice and was holding onto Darcy like she was the last life vest on the _Titanic._

_Jeez. _She managed to get one of his hands away. _I know I got a pretty awesome set of boobies but you'd think he-_ The thought never finished as Dr. Banner rolled over, twisting Tony's leg beneath him causing the billionaire to bolt upright with a yowl of pain, knocking Pepper off of his chest. Her arm shot out, slapping Dr. Banner's back as she tried to catch herself, startling the Doctor who kneed Steve in the forehead, making him leap backwards landing on top of Natasha and Clint. Natasha made a sharp noise and flipped Clint off of the bed, his arm bent up behind his back as she shouted something in sleepy, startled Russian. Amid the chaos, cursing, and confusion Darcy thought maybe she could get six books out of this ordeal.

Putting her thumb and forefinger into her mouth Darcy let out a sharp whistle, making everyone flinch and -mercifully- be quiet. Unfortunately that put all of their bewildered attention on her.

"So…" Her mouth began before her brain had any constructive input. "Who wants breakfast?"


End file.
